|
Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
1. The traditional Muslim greeting is A-salaam a-laykum ("Peace be upon you"), to which the reply is w-laykum o a-salaam ("And upon you be peace"). Besure to exchange greetings whenever meeting friends or strangers. Between men,greetings also involve crossing the heart with the right hand, shaking hands andsometimes even a 'bear-hug', in the case of close friends. Note that Afghans gothrough this whole procedure many times a day, often with the same people. Western woman should refrain from offering their hand to Afghan men to be shake.It is preferable to wait for him to offer his hand first. With similar protocol in mind, Western men should not look at, point at or shake hands with Afghan women in the streets or in rural areas.
2. One should be sure to stand up when any Afghan, especially an elder enters the room.
3. Titles are preferable to first names, especially in the case of eldersor superiors. Outside the professional arena, one can use generic titles suchbaba for father, madar for mother, and haji for someone who has been on pilgrimage to Mecca.
4. Afghans are renowned for their hospitality, and the Pashtuns especiallyare regarded for their generosity and kindness to their guests. On greeting aguest to his house or tent, the host will usually offer tea and then wait forthe visitor to offer an explanation for the visit. Guests are rarely turned away.
5. Normally, one should be prepared to remove one's shoes before entering abuilding or a home. When one removes one's shoes, the soles of the shoes areplaced together, preventing the sole from being pointed at anyone. Also, oneshould never show the bottom of one's feet as it is considered offensive. Besure not to walk on prayer mats which will likely be present within homes.
6. One should expect to be offered tea at when visiting someone's home oreven at a business meeting, and one should be sure to accept the offering.Drinking tea, which is usually of the green tea variety, is neither a matter ofquenching thirst nor of empty symbolism. Drinking tea is a culturally ordainedcustom denoting hospitality, respect and even friendship.
7. If one is invited into an Afghan home, it is customary to take a gift tothe host or hostess. Baked goods, chocolates, or a bag of sweets, are goodchoices. More elaborate offerings, such as a beautiful ornament, possibly fromone's own country, would constitute an acceptable gift between businessassociates. A finely made compass, symbolizing the direction of Mecca to adevout Muslim, would constitute a thoughtful gesture on the part of the giver,and would most assuredly be treasured by the recipient.
8. At dinner, Afghans take pride in offering large amounts of food to theirguests. One should take modest helpings so that one will be able to accommodatethe second and third helpings, which will doubtlessly be offered. Be sure to eatslowly and take note of whether or not others have eaten sufficiently as yourhosts will finish eating when you, as the guest of honor, are finished.
9. In conversation, good topic choices include Afghani history, current ormodern achievements, sports and culture. Generally, discussions about politicsor religion should be avoided, although in recent times, such discussions may beimpossible to avoid. Before embarking upon any kind of business discussion, oneshould ask after one's counterpart's health and life. Men should be careful notto bring up the subject of women unless one's counterpart does so first. Asimple inquiry as to the health of a wife or daughter can be consideredinappropriate.
10. One should always use the right hand in preference to the left. Theleft hand is considered unclean in the Muslim world and as such, one shouldnever eat with the left hand. Likewise, one should avoid gesturing with the lefthand while making sure that gifts are received with the right hand. Of course,it is acceptable to use both hands when one is insufficient. One should alsoavoid pointing at another person, and one should never use the North American"thumbs up" gesture as is considered to be vulgar throughout the Muslimworld.
11. In the realm of protocol, one should not enter a room or home withoutknocking or coughing to announce one's presence. One should also not shout,laugh too loudly or sing during meal times. Note that it is appropriate to coverthe mouth when laughing.
12. Generally, visitors are urged to acquaint themselves with the calendarand traditions of Islam, such as the fasting, daily prayer and practices.Praying five times daily, for example, is customary and affects the schedule ofall events and practices in Muslim countries. During the period of Ramadan, forinstance, fasting and prayer is mandatory for Muslims, while but smoking,drinking or eating in public is ill-advised for anyone in Afghanistan,regardless of religious persuasion.
13. Similarly, one should always be aware of how Islamic law, which isdelineated in the Shari'a, is used as the basis for the legal and juridical structure in Islamic countries like Afghanistan. While the violation oftraditions may simply be rationalized as ignorance in other countries, they takeon far greater meaning in countries where the Islamic religion textures allaspect of society and culture. For example, under the former Taliban, beingsuspected of any illicit sexual activity, prostitution, pornography,homosexuality, or an extra marital affair, (far less for being actually caughtindulging in any such activity), littering, drunkenness, spitting, or gambling,could each result in very severe consequences. Although the Taliban is nolonger in power, factions loyal to the Taliban still operate in Afghanistan andinfluence the culture of the country. As such, one should be aware of thisreality.
14. Taking photographs, a seemingly harmless activity, is a far moreproblematic endeavor in Afghanistan than in other countries. Under the formerTaliban regine, taking pictures of airports or in airports, taking picture thatdeal with the military or government, or taking pictures of mosques, were alldisallowed. While the Taliban are no longer is power, one should inquire firstbefore taking such photographs and refrain from taking pictures of peoplewithout their consent.
15. There are also a number of prohibitions and customs involving food thatone should adhere to in a Muslim country. For example, one should also note thatthe consumption of alcohol or pork is strictly disallowed.
16. Be prepared for the strict separation between the genders and thestrict rules concerning the appropriate behavior of each sex, especially insocial situations. Men and women are forbidden to kiss, hug, hold hands ormingle in public. Even married couples are subject to these rules. Expect menand women to be seated separately during meals, at movie theaters and mosques.Furthermore, a close male relative must accompany a woman anytime she must goout in public. One should not expect to ever encounter unrelated men and womentogether, or for that matter, one should not expect an Afghan male to introducehis wife. Indeed, for the most part, do not expect women to be included insocial occasions. Men and women are often entertained separately. It isadvisable that one quietly accept this custom unless one is confident thatbehaving otherwise will not result in recrimination.
17. In regard to Afghan women, it is advisable that Western men notacknowledge them in the streets, in rural areas, and especially in areas whereon-going Taliban influence is evident. One should not even look for too long ata local female, regardless of age. While this sort of practice may seem extremeto Westerners, attempting to behave in a "progressive" or "modern" manner willonly reap negative repercussions for the local Afghan women. In private,however, in some situations, it is acceptable to acknowledge Afghan women.Generally, however, Western women tend to have better access to Afghan womenthan Western men, due to the societal separation of genders.
18. Afghanistan is a very conservative, Muslim culture and clothing shouldbe appropriate to this environment. Business wear is typically moreconventional; suits are the norm for both men and women, although someindustries may allow more casual attire to be worn. Western women should try tobe more restrained in regard to makeup and jewelry. Both men and women shoulddress modestly. Tight, revealing clothing is simply not acceptable, whileshorts, bikinis and short hems are objectionable Necklines should be high andsleeves should come to the elbows. Hemlines should be well below the knee, ifnot ankle length. For several years under Taliban rule, Afghan women customarilydressed in a full body shroud-like garment called a "burqa-a." Even today in apost-Taliban climate, most local women continue to do so. Female visitors shouldnot try to conform to this standard or they are likely to be mistaken for beinga local and will thus be subject to the same expectations as Afghan women. Whilethe rules for men's attire is not as strict, men must keep their chest coveredin public and should never wear shorts in public.
Please Note:
Under the Taliban regime, guests in Afghanistan, regardless of theirnationality,were subject to the same rigorous Islamic law as locals. These laws were often extreme and unforgiving by Western standards, and all people weresubject to their jurisdiction regardless of one's claim of citizenship. Although the stringency with which such laws were enforced no longer exists inpost-Taliban Afghanistan, visitors should still be mindful of the fact that Afghanistan is a culturally conservative culture. Even if changes have ensued inurban centers, people in rural areas are less likely to adapt to political changes with equivalent ease. Women traveling to Afghanistan should further inquire about the extensive cultural codes that may well regulate many aspect oftheir time there.
|