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Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
Salaam is the traditional greeting for "hello." The traditional Muslim greeting is A-salaam a-laykum ("Peace be upon you"), to which the reply is w-laykum o a-salaam ("And upon you be peace"). Be sure to exchange greetings whenever meeting friends or strangers.
Men usually shake hands with other men. Although strict Muslim men avoid the touch of a woman, most Pakistani businessmen will shake hands with a woman. Pakistani women do not usually shake hands with other women. Men may embrace male friends, and women hug and kiss upon meeting. But people of the opposite sex do not show affection.
Do not use a Pakistani's first name until you have been invited to do so. Titles are preferable to first names, especially in the case of elders or superiors.
Normally, one should be prepared to remove one's shoes before entering a building or a home. When one removes one's shoes, the soles of the shoes are placed together, preventing the sole from being pointed at anyone. Also, one should never show the bottom of one's feet as it is considered offensive. Be sure not to walk on prayer mats which will likely be present within homes.
Pakistanis are renowned for their hospitality, and are regarded for their generosity and kindness to their guests. If one is invited into a Pakistani home, you are not obliged to bring a gift. If you choose to do so, however, chocolates or flowers are good choices. Do not give alcohol as a gift unless you know that a Pakistani drinks alcohol. Baked goods, chocolates, or a box of sweets, are also good choices of gifts. More elaborate offerings, such as a beautiful ornament, possibly from one's own country, would constitute an acceptable gift between business associates. A finely made compass, symbolizing the direction of Mecca to a devout Muslim, would constitute a thoughtful gesture on the part of the giver, and would most assuredly be treasured by the recipient.
If you are invited to a Pakistani's home for a meal, expect to be served very late, perhaps as late as 9:00 or 10:00 P.M. Guests are expected to leave immediately upon completion of the meal.
Pakistanis normally eat with their hands, but when they entertain guests, they usually provide forks and spoons. Use the fork with your left hand and the spoon in your right, pushing the food with the fork into the spoon. If you do eat with your hands, use only the right hand, as the left is considered unclean.
At dinner, Pakistanis take pride in offering large amounts of food to their guests. One should take modest helpings so that one will be able to accommodate the second and third helpings, which will doubtlessly be offered. Be sure to eat slowly and take note of whether or not others have eaten sufficiently as your hosts will finish eating when you, as the guest of honor, are finished. Try to finish everything on your plate.
When partaking of food, one should always use the right hand in preference to the left. The left hand is considered unclean in the Muslim world and as such, one should never eat with the left hand. Likewise, one should avoid gesturing with the left hand while making sure that gifts are received with the right hand. Of course, it is acceptable to use both hands when one is insufficient.
If you are invited to stay at a home, hand each servant a small tip before you leave. (Many Pakistanis have domestic workers.)
In conversation, good topic choices include world history, current or modern achievements in Pakistan, sports and culture. Generally, discussions about politics or religion should be avoided. Topics such as Israel and Jews, as well as Pakistan's relationship with its neighbors (especially India) are strenuously ill-advised. Tawdry jokes, especially of a racy nature are also ill-advised. Before embarking upon any kind of business discussion, one should ask after one's counterpart's health and life. Men should be careful not to bring up the subject of women unless one's counterpart does so first. A simple inquiry as to the health of a wife or daughter can be considered inappropriate.
In the realm of protocol, one should not enter a room or home without knocking or coughing to announce one's presence. One should also not shout, laugh too loudly or sing during meal times. Note that it is appropriate to cover the mouth when laughing. One should also avoid pointing at another person, and one should never use the North American "thumbs up" gesture as is considered to be vulgar throughout the Muslim world. Indeed, using individual fingers to make gestures is impolite. Gesturing with a closed fist is obscene, and beckoning is done with the palm down rather than up, waving all the fingers toward the body.
Women should never wink as it may be construed as suggestive, flirtatious or inappropriate.
There are also a number of prohibitions and customs involving food that one should adhere to in a Muslim country. For example, one should also note that the consumption of alcohol or pork is strictly disallowed.
Generally, visitors are urged to acquaint themselves with the calendar and traditions of Islam, such as the fasting, daily prayer and practices. Praying five times daily, for example, is customary and affects the schedule of all events and practices in Muslim countries. Respect should be shown for these practices. Also, during the period of Ramadan, fasting and prayer is mandatory for Muslims, and smoking, eating and drinking in public is prohibited. Note that smoking and drinking is ill-advised for any Muslim, regardless of the time of year.
Similarly, one should always be aware of how Islamic law, which is delineated in the Shari'a, is used as the basis for the legal and juridical structure in Islamic countries like Pakistan. While the violation of traditions may simply be rationalized as ignorance in other countries, they take on far greater meaning in countries where the Islamic religion textures all aspect of society and culture.
Be prepared for the strict separation between the genders and the strict rules concerning the appropriate behavior of each sex, especially in social situations. Kissing, hugging, or holding hands in public is frowned upon. Even married couples are subject to these rules. Expect men and women to be seated separately during meals, at movie theaters and mosques. Indeed, for the most part, do not expect women to be included in social occasions. Men and women are often (although not always) entertained separately. If one wishes to invite the wife of a business counterpart to dinner, ask him discretely if she is in purdah (the seclusion of women from public observation).
Pakistan is a fairly conservative, Muslim culture and clothing should be appropriate to this environment. Business wear is typically more conventional; suits are the norm for both men and women, although some industries may allow more casual attire to be worn. Western women should try to be more restrained in regard to makeup and jewelry. Both men and women should dress modestly. Tight, revealing clothing is simply not acceptable, while shorts, bikinis and short hems are objectionable. Necklines should be high and sleeves should come to the elbows. Hemlines should be well below the knee, if not ankle length. Women must dress in a full body shroud-like garment. These dress codes are strictly enforced and to avoid offence, one is advised to invest in a shalwar qamiz - a long, loose, non-revealing garment worn by both men and women. Female Westerners who have traveled in Pakistan suggest wearing a scarf to cover the hair and neck made of light, cotton material, large cotton or linen pants, and a long sleeved cotton shirt as long as the knees. The colors of the clothing do not matter although dark and solid colors tend to be the norm among the locals. While the rules for men's attire is not as strict, men must keep their chest covered in public and should never wear shorts in public.
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