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Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
"Aaibowan" is the Sinhalese greeting; some associate it with the equivalent of the English term "Welcome" while others extend the greeting's meaning to "May you live long and well." Within the Tamil community, the traditional greeting is "Vannakam."
Men and women who subscribe to more Westernized habits and tendencies will offer to shake hands when greeting others. As a result of British influence, this Western mode of greeting is also appropriate for either sex. At a party or festive occasion, one should greet and shake hands with everyone in the room. Nevertheless, one should avoid touching, (except the specific cases of handshaking noted above), hugging, or kissing when greeting another person.
Titles are highly valued in Sri Lanka, thus, adherence to the strictures of formality is highly advisable. It is customary to address a Sinhalese person as Sir (Mahattaya) or Madame (Nona) following their last names, or simply by this title alone. One should also always use professional titles and avoid addressing another by his or her first name unless one is asked to do so. Tamils have no titles such as this, so they will use Aiyaa (father) or Ammaa (mother) intead to an older person, connoting respect.
Nonverbal signals for agreement are reversed from those in Western countries and so one should be aware of this confusion caused by these gestures as a consequence of the difference in meaning. Put simply, a nod of the head means "no," and shaking the head from side to side indicates "yes."
Note that the implications of the word "no" in this country are very significant. Evasive refusals, rather than outright negations, and are considered to be preferable. When one is offered an invitation, for example, one would respond with vague avoidances, such as "maybe, we'll see" or "I'll try." Visitors should emulate these muted refusals in situations with locals where an outright "no" would normally suffice.
Many people in Sri Lanka consider the head to be the seat of the soul. One should avoid touching someone else's head. Simply patting the hair of a child may seem to be a harmless and affectionate act in Western culture, but it may not be so well-received here.
One should also avoid standing with one's hands on one's hips, as this stance may well be interpreted as an angry, aggressive posture.
One should eschew pointing with a finger, as it is considered to be an offensive gesture, sometimes denoting annoyance. Indeed, many people in the region of the South Asia often point with the chin.
One should also eschew winking with the eyes. Winking may be misinterpreted as either an insult or a sexual proposition.
The protocol surrounding one's feet should also be noted. For example, one should not point one's feet at another person. The feet are considered unclean, so if one's shoes or feet touch another person's shoes or feet, one should be sure to apologize.
Note that in Sri Lanka, a country that is home to people of many cultures and religions, Buddhists tend to be vegetarians, Hindus do not eat beef, and Muslims do not eat pork.
If one is invited to a home for a meal, a gift is not expected but will be appreciated. Good gifts include fruit, imported chocolates, and crafts or ornaments from one's home country. If one receives a gift, one should set it aside until the giver leaves. Sending a note of thanks for the gift, once it has been opened, is good protocol. Remember that Hindus do not eat beef and Muslims do not eat pork. Gifts of leather made from cows, as well as pigskins (footballs), are not appropriate within these two respective communities.
During meals, communal dishes are placed in the center of a table and each person is expected to serve himself or herself. One should not let the serving utensils touch one's plate. There usually will be no utensils to actually use for eating, since people eat with their hands. Bread and rice balls are used to scoop up curries and vegetables. Emulating the host is advisable as this technique may require some practice. Note that if the meal is served on a plantain leaf, do not eat it; that plantain leaf is used as the plate.
In Muslim homes, note that one should eat with the right hand; the left hand is considered unclean. Simply touching a communal dish with the left hand may cause fellow diners to avoid it.
Some suggested topics of conversation to be shared over the course of the meal include families, home, schools, and historic sights of Sri Lanka. Topics to avoid include the ethnic strife between the Tamils and Sinhalese, relations with India, religion, the caste system, and anything with erotic or flirtatious overtones.
At the end of a meal, one need not thank the host as the words, "thank you," may be viewed as a form of payment. The sharing of a meal is considered to be akin to sharing a friendship and is deeply meaningful. Returning the meal by inviting the host to dinner or an equivalent meal shows that one values the relationship. One might also show appreciation for the meal by complimenting the food, and by partaking of second or even third helpings, when offered.
It is customary to remove one's shoes before entering a home or place of worship. Be sure to adhere to these rules of convention when one visits a home of place of worship. Likewise, one should be sure to cover one's head in scared spaces. Usually, a cloth of some kind will suffice, although the Hindu veil is commonplace among women. Because cows are considered to be sacred creatures by Hindus, one should not wear leather products in Hindu temples and at other sites considered to be sacred among Hindus.
When visiting temples and other holy sites, note that it is often prohibited to take photographs of deities. Be sure to procure permission before doing so. In general, one should threat religious objects with respect. One should not sit on or stand against statues of Buddha. One should also avoid giving Buddhists monks donations of money directly, since they are forbidden to touch it. Instead, one can place donations in the box found at the entrance to temples. Other objects or offerings should be given to monks using both hands.
Modest clothing is advisable when visiting holy sites. Indeed, conservative dress at all times is imperative in Sri Lanka. Cottons and silks in light colors are popular and comfortable fabrics, and are suitable for the hot climate that pervades much of the country. Among business people, however, it is common for locals to wear Western suits and garb as well as the traditional fare. Western dress is also common among youth. Visitors can stick to Western clothing styles or dress like a local, the only requisite element is that modesty be employed. Shorts, low-cut, revealing, or sleeveless clothing, and bathing suits are inappropriate for women except in resort areas or on the beach.
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