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Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
• The standard greeting is a smile, often accompanied by a nod, wave, and it may sometimes include a verbal greeting. Friends and family members usually embrace, finishing the embrace with a pat or two on the back. In business situations, a firm handshake is used. Feeble handshakes are viewed negatively as weakness. Men usually wait for women to offer their hand before shaking.
• The backslap -- a self-explanatory slap on the back from one person to another -- is a sign of friendship.
• In general, friends of the same sex do not hold hands. In cases where men do, indeed, hold hands, it can probably be interpreted as a sign of sexual preference.
• The greeting "how are you?" is typical but it is not an inquiry about one's health or well-being. It is a perfunctory greeting. The best response is a short one, such as "Fine, thank you."
• The standard American conversation starter is "What do you do?" --- meaning "What kind of work do you do, and for whom?" This is not considered rude or boring as it may be in other cultures. Indeed, work is an important aspect of the American lifetsyle, making discussions of work fairly standard fare.
• Compliments are exchanged very often and are often used as conversation starters.
• In terms of paralanguage, when pointing or indicating, one can use the index finger. Note, however, that it is not polite to point at a person. Note also that while direct eye contact shows that one is sincere, it should be tempered and not too intense. Among non-Anglo populations, people may look away as a means of showing respect.
• When giving an item to one person, one may toss it or hand it over with only one hand.
• Until one knows a person well, it is best to avoid discussing religion, money politics, or other controversial subjects. Some common topics of conversation include place and type of work done, travel, foods (and diet), exercise, sports, music, movies, and books.
• In social situations, American co-workers or friends will probably enjoy learning a toast from one's home country or culture. Sometimes, this cultural exchange can be a pleasant entry point to conversation.
• Before smoking, one should ask if others mind, or wait to see if others smoke. Smoking is increasingly prohibited in public places such as in airplanes, in office buildings, even in stadiums.
• Before visiting a friend, one should call ahead. Dropping in on friends, unannounced, is not common practice.
• When eating out at restaurants, it is normal to share the cost of the bill with friends. This practice is called "splitting the bill", "getting separate checks", or as it was called years ago, "going Dutch." If one is invited out for business, one's host will usually pay the bill. If one is invited out socially, but one's host does not offer to pay, one should be prepared to pay for one's own meal. If one invites an American counterpart out socially, one should make it clear whether or not one wishes to pay.
• If one is invited for a meal, one should arrive promptly. If one is invited to a cocktail party, however, one can arrive a few minutes late. One need not call ahead if one is going to be a half hour late to a cocktail party, however, a courtesy call might be in order in the case of a dinner party.
• If one is offered food or drink, one is not obliged to accept it.
• When one visits a home, it is not necessary to take a gift; however, it is always appreciated. Flowers, small house plants, or a bottle of wine are all appropriate choices. In the southern "bible belt" of the United States, however, one should not take gifts of wine of non-drinking Baptists. One can also send flowers ahead of time, so as not to burden your hostess with taking care of them when you arrive.
• Taking out someone for a meal or other entertainment is a common gift.
• During meals, the fork is held in the right hand and is used to cut food. The knife is used only to cut or spread something. To use it, the fork is switched to the left hand or is laid down; to continue eating, the fork is switched back to the right hand. This practice is a little different from the European modality where the fork and knife are steadfastly retained in the left and right hands respectively.
• Many foods are appropriately eaten with the hands.
• It is not considered rude to eat while walking; many people also eat in their cars, even while driving. While this practice may present a road hazard, it is not culturally inappropriate in practice.
• At fast-food restaurants, one is expected to clear one's own table.
• Most parties are informal, unless the host says otherwise.
• Dress is the United States is generally informal, as exemplified by the popularity of "blue jeans" in American culture. In business settings, the traditional business suit is the norm for both women and men, although in some cases, the style of choice is referred to as "business casual." Here, dress slacks and collared shirts would be acceptable choices for men, while coordinated outfits would be suitable for women. Some offices may offer "casual Fridays" when one can dress even more casually, wearing jeans and the like, however, it is probably best to err on the side of more conservatism when dressing for the workplace. Outside the workplace, Americans are notorious for dressing very casually, even within restaurants. Although the top tier of such establishments may have dress codes, in general, American democratization extends fitfully into the domain of dressing. During the summer months, women and men are free to wear shorts on the street, weather permitting, and there are rarely any restrictions on the lengths and tightness of any pieces of apparel. There are also a wide variety of styles of clothing in the United States, from the more traditional fare to adventurous fads and notions. Likewise, Americans are fortunate enough to have a variety of venues from which clothing can be purchased, and suitable for all sorts of budgets.
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