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Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
1. The firm handshake is the standard greeting for men and women, upon meeting and again upon departure. Even children are encouraged to shake hands. When introduced to a woman, wait to see if see extends her hand before offering to shake. In general, the woman offers her hand first. In social settings, with friends, expect to do les bises, or touching cheeks and kissing the air. The French may also kiss each other twice on the cheek. Hugging or embracing tends to occur only among close friends and family.
2. Always rise to be introduced to someone. Note also that most greetings take place at a close distance. Yelling hello across a room would be considered culturally inappropriate. Wait until the person or persons with whom you are meeting are in close proximity to you where a polite greeting can be exchanged.
3. One should use the formal form of address such as Mr. or Mrs. followed by a surname, unless invited to move to a first name basis. Younger people are more apt to move to less formal forms of address quickly, while children tend to address each other using first names. One should also use Madame for all women except young girls. If you speak French, use the vous form until you are told to use tu. Outside the personal sphere, however, it is advisable that professional and governmental titles be used. In business, titles are used more rarely in verbal communication although they are customarily used in written communications.
4. Polite behavior towards strangers is the norm is France. For example, when entering or leaving a shop, it is customary to greet and say goodbye to the clerk.
5. Culturally, French men tend to interact with women with a great deal of gallantry. Women should not mistake French gallantry for condescension.
6. Note that eye contact among the French can be intense. One should be prepared for this type of non-verbal communication. (This is a generalization, however, it may be a useful barometer of para-language to consider.)
7. Inappropriate behavior in France includes talking with one's hands in one's pocket, chewing gum in public, and slapping the open palm with a closed fist is vulgar. Note also that the American sign for "okay" -- forming a circle with the thumb and forefinger -- means "zero" in France.
8. In conversation, sightseeing, positive aspects of local culture and society, as well as travel, are considered to be good topics of conversation. The French tend to be well informed about cultural and political issues, and so one should expect honest and opinionated expression of ideas in this regard. One should, however, respect personal privacy and avoid personal questions or issues during conversation. (Naturally, this is a generalization and should be treated as such.)
9. Note that the French tend to be culturally more animated in conversation than other Europeans, peppering their discussions with gesticulation and animation. High-pitched voices and excited gestures should not be mistaken for angry displays, as more often than not, they simply denote great interest in the subject of discussion. (Again, this is a generalization and should be treated as such.)
10. Dining is typically continental-style with the fork steadfastly held in the left hand and the knife in the right hand. Wrists should remain on the table at meals and one should never place one's hands in one's lap.
11. Wine is customarily included with meals. If you do not wish to drink, turning the glass down before the meal will signal your preference not to partake of wine. Wine aside, other forms of alcohol, such as hard liquor, and also smoking, are not encouraged before or during the meal as they are thought to diminish the taste buds.
12. When invited to dinner at a French home, taking some sort of gift is suggested protocol. A bouquet of unwrapped flowers for your hostess is the preferred gift. Note that red roses, which are reserved for courting, or chrysanthemums, should likely be avoided in bouquets. Fine chocolates are another suggested item, especially in homes where children are present. Liqueur is another option but should not be confused with any alcoholic offering. For example, wine is not a good gift option as it has likely already been selected for dinner by the host. Note that gifts are customarily presented before the party or dinner.
13. To express thanks (which is the suggested protocol), send a note the next day. The inclusion of flowers or a basket of fruit is optional, although it will likely be very well-received by the host.
14. Although dress is Europe generally casual and should conform to the temperate climate, the French are very conscious of self-presentation. Even in casual settings, clothing should be somewhat stylish and well-tailored. Business wear is more conservative; suits are the norm for both men and women. Makeup and jewelry for women is normal for women.
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