Cultural Dos and Taboos
1. Indonesians shake hands only upon initial introductions and before and after a long separation, and when they occur, they are akin to handclasps -- rather limp and lasting for a few seconds. On special occasions, the handshake can be intensified by placing one's hand over one's heart. Upon greeting, the traditional Muslim Indonesian salutation is the word
selamat, which means peace. The traditional Hindu greeting involves a slight bow with the palms together and it is an acceptable alternative to a handshake. Indonesian Chinese often combine a bow with a handshake. Generally, shaking hands across the genders is acceptable with Westerners and among the Indonesian Chinese community.
2. Most ethnic Indonesians are Muslim; with the other significant segment of the population is Hindu. Traditionally, there is no physical contact between men and women in these cultures. Note that public displays of affection between those of the opposite sex, even between married couples, are frowned upon. Contact between people of the same sex, however, is permitted. Men may hold hands with men, or even walk with their arms around each other; this is interpreted as friendship.
3. Note that greetings are elaborate and formal affairs that should not be rushed; to hurry through introductions denotes a gross lack of respect and good manners.
4. Stick to formal forms of address, complete with titles, unless invited to do otherwise; such formality will demonstrate respect. Use business cards in such settings, making sure to present the card with both hands. Do not place business cards in one's back pocket and do not write upon the card. The formality of the card should be respected Note also that names in Indonesia are considered sacred, so be sure to learn how to pronounce names properly and with reverence.
5. With regard to body language, in many cultures, the left hand is considered unclean. Eat with your right hand only and avoid touching anything or anyone with your left hand. Accept gifts and hold cash in the right hand as well. Note also that the foot is also considered unclean and so one should not show or expose the bottom of the foot to anyone. One should also avoid pointing the forefinger at another person. One can beckon with the palm down and the fingers waved toward the body.
6. Be restrained in temperament; one should avoid losing control of one's emotions and refrain from being overly assertive as such expressiveness is considered to be in poor taste. On should also speak in quiet gentle tones, remaining calm at all times.
7. Note that Indonesians are comfortable with silence, in both business and social situations. A silent pause allows time for thought and does not necessarily signal either acceptance or rejection.
8. There is little conversation while eating, however, should conversation ensue either over a meal, in an office or in a social setting, good topics of conversation include tourism, travel, plans for the future, organizational success, culture, and food. Topics to avoid in conversation include any criticism of the local culture, religion, bureaucracy, or politics. One should also avoid discussions of sex or the roles of the sexes, while boasting should be eschewed.
9. In many Asian cultures, including Indonesia, avoiding confrontation is the norm. Rather than answering negatively in an outright manner, Indonesians will more likely make excuses or they may tell you that they must check with someone at a higher level, when such a person doesn't exist. Likewise, they find it difficult to accept a direct negative answer.
10. In many Asian cultures, including Indonesia, laughter and smiling frequently denote emotions other than pleasure and happiness. Smiles may hide embarrassment, shyness, bitterness, discord, and/or loss of face. Learning to interpret smiles and laughter is a difficult for necessary process in the East.
11. Gift giving is a traditional part of Indonesian culture. Although gifts may be small, they are given often. If one is invited for a meal to someone's home, for example, one can take flowers, cakes or fruit as a gift. It is not the custom to unwrap a gift in the presence of the giver as to do so would suggest that the recipient is greedy and impatient. Expect the recipient to thank you briefly, then put the still-wrapped gift aside until you have left. Remember, one should never give Muslims a gift that contains any sort of pork or alcohol product neither should Hindus be given beef or product made from cows.
12. Business dress in Indonesia is conservative; suits for both men and women. Outside of business, dress is generally elegant but casual. Beach wear should be confined to the beach and shorts should not be worn in urban centers. Visitors should always dress modestly in temples, mosques, and holy sites. Women should take care to wear shirts or blouses that cover at least their upper arms and shorts and skirts should be at least knee-length.