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Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
1. The firm handshake is the standard greeting for men and women, upon meeting and again upon departure. Even children are encouraged to shake hands. Handshakes may often include grasping the arm with the other hand. At a large gathering, if no one is giving formal introductions, it is proper to shake hands and introduce yourself. When introduced to a woman, wait to see if see extends her hand before offering to shake. In general, the woman offers her hand first. In social settings, people may kiss on both cheeks. Also, among friends, expect women to "kiss" on either cheek in a manner more akin to pressing the sides of the face together. Close friends and male relatives often embrace and slap each other on the back.
2. Always rise to be introduced to someone. Note also that most greetings take place at a close distance. Yelling hello across a room would be considered culturally inappropriate. Wait until the person or persons with whom you are meeting are in close proximity to you where a polite greeting can be exchanged.
3. Do not use first names unless you are invited to; formality is still appreciated. One should use the formal form of address such as Mr. or Mrs. followed by a surname, unless invited to move to a first name basis. Younger people are more apt to move to less formal forms of address quickly, while children tend to address each other using first names. Outside the personal sphere, however, it is advisable that professional and governmental titles be used. In business, titles are used more rarely in verbal communication although they are customarily used in written communications. Formality is appreciated.
4. In conversation, Italian culture, art, food, wine, sports such as bicycling and especially soccer, family, Italian scenery, films, as well as travel, are considered to be good topics of conversation. The Italians tend to be well informed about cultural and political issues, and so one should expect honest and opinionated expression of ideas in this regard. One should, however, avoid talking about one's profession, religion, politics and World War II. One should also not tell risqué jokes.
5. Note that Italians tend to be culturally more animated in conversation than other Europeans, peppering their discussions with gesticulation and animation. High-pitched voices and excited gestures should not be mistaken for angry displays, as more often than not, they simply denote great interest in the subject of discussion. (Naturally, this is a generalization and should be treated as such.)
6. Body language is quite interesting in Italy, and because much gesticulation tends to take place in this culture, one should be aware of the commonly used gestures. For example, a disgruntled man may quickly stoke his fingertips under his chin and thrust them forward as a sign of defiance and/or derision. Another gesture has two versions: Holding your hand palm down with the index and little fingers straight out, and the others curved inward, symbolized the devil's horns, and the message is to ward off evil. If the same gesture is done with the fingers pointing upward, it is an obscene message.
7. Women traveling in Italy should be aware of the cultural tendencies. In northern Italy, for example, a single woman is usually able to eat at a restaurant without being approached, but if she looks around a lot, she will likely attract attention, and men will stare and smile. In southern Italy, however, a woman eating at a restaurant alone is not the norm, and she may receive the unwanted attention form men. Taking along reading or work materials to lunch will indicate that a woman is alone by choice.
8. In Italy, dining is typically continental-style with the fork steadfastly held in the left hand and the knife in the right hand. Wrists should remain on the table at meals and one should never place one's hands in one's lap. The knife is used to pick up cheese, while all fruit, except grapes or cherries, should not be eaten by hand.
9. Wine is customarily included with meals. If you do not wish to drink, turning the glass down before the meal will signal your preference not to partake of wine. Note that Italians consider wine to be something which is sipped and to drink in excess is considered quite offensive.
10. When invited to dinner at an Italian home, taking some sort of gift is suggested protocol. A bouquet of flowers for your hostess is the preferred gift. Note that red roses, which are reserved for courting, or chrysanthemums, which are used at funerals, should likely be avoided in bouquets. Fine chocolates or pastries are another suggested item, especially in homes where children are present. Liqueur is another option but should not be confused with any alcoholic offering. For example, wine is not a good gift option as it has likely already been selected for dinner by the host, and in any case, should always be of an excellent vintage. . Do not give handkerchiefs, or knives, all of which can be associated with sadness.
11. To express thanks (which is the suggested protocol), send a note the next day. The inclusion of flowers or a basket of fruit is optional, although it will likely be very well-received by the host.
12. Although dress is Europe generally casual and should conform to the temperate climate, the Italians are very conscious of self-presentation and Italy is reputed as a major center of European fashion. Even in casual settings, clothing should be somewhat chic and well-tailored. Business wear is more conservative; suits are the norm for both men and women. Makeup and jewelry for women is normal for women. Modest dress is best when visiting a church or cathedral.
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