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Cultural Etiquette
Cultural Dos and Taboos
• Among Muslims, the traditional Muslim greeting is "A-salaam a-laykum" ("Peace be upon you"), to which the reply is "w-laykum o a-salaam" ("And upon you be peace"). Be sure to exchange greetings whenever meeting friends or strangers.
• Note that titles are preferable to first names, especially in the case of elders or superiors. Although Western culture tends to utilize more casual modalities of communication, adhering to a traditional and formal style of interaction, especially among elders, is advisable.
• One should be sure to stand up when a Kyrgyz elder enters the room. Elders always receive the utmost respect. It is important that the visitor to Kyrgyzstan show elders the same respect that their own countrymen give them.
• The traditional Kyrgyz dwelling is the yurta, an easily assembled and reassembled tent-like home, made of felt. Although the yurta is associated with nomads, in recent years, it has become popular with shepherds (called chabans) who spend their summers in the high pastures (called jailoo). In all yurtas, the door faces south or southeast, and the interior is divided into various areas. The "red corner" (located opposite the door) is where trunks and chests containing the family valuables are located, along with blankets. In the middle of the yurta, the fire and a low center table are arranged. On the right of the yurta, there are household utensils and children's playthings and other items. On the left of the yurta, saddles, bridles and other male items are stored. Following this arrangement, women usually sit on the right side of the yurta and men on the left.
• Today, few Kyrgyz still use yurtas as their main houses, but in most homes, there is a room referred to as "the Kyrgyz room," which is decorated with felt rugs, arranged like the traditional yurta, and is intended to honor cultural traditions. Members of the household will often sit in a circle on the floor (because there is no furniture in the yurta other than the low table), which is covered by a wool carpet. Even today, following the traditional arrangement of the room (noted above), women sit on the right side of the Kyrgyz room, while men sit on the left. Often, the Kyrgyz room is where guests are entertained.
• Hospitality is part of the Kyrgyz tradition and culture. It is a part of the nomadic legacy when hospitality was a necessity. In the days when the nomadic lifestyle was the norm, travelers relied upon the hospitality of others to provide them with temporary shelter, food and drink. Likewise, travelers passing through were relied upon for news and information, and were needed for aid, in times of trouble. Because the nomadic lifestyle was the norm, it was also customary for families to leave their yurta open with food inside available to passers by. Today, this legacy of hospitality endures and travelers are welcomed into Kyrgyz homes.
• Hospitality remains an integral part of Kyrgyz protocol and reflecting the traditions of the past, Kyrgyz people invite guests to join them for food and drink, and gracious guests are expected to partake of the offering. Failing to be a gracious guest is a good way to risk offense. Note that a meal is not something simply to be consumed in Kyrgyzstan; it is part of the tradition and culture of brotherhood, which rests upon the sharing of food and drink. Frequently, the Kyrgyz people will extend themselves by laying their table with all their food available. This generous gesture is intended to convey the idea that the guest is someone to be honored and appreciated. Only the most discourteous of guests would ungraciously decline or rebuff such gestures.
• Alcohol is often part of the meal shared with guests. Non-locals are often surprised to find that even Muslim Kyrgyz often share drinks of alcohol (usually vodka) with their guests. Vodka aside, another commonly consumed drink is called "kumys" - a mildly alcoholic made from fermented mare's milk, which is only available in pring and summer when mares are foaling. "Bozo" -- a yeasty creation made from fermented millet, which is available throughout the year -- may also accompany the meal.
• Because Islam was introduced to the country in the 17th and 18th centuries, the religion was not fully assimilated until later. As noted above, there is less of a restriction on alcohol here than in other predominantly Muslim countries. Nevertheless, public drunkenness is not tolerated.
• Unlike other countries in the region, Kyrgyzstan's government does not mix religion with politics, and as a result, women's lifestyles are not as restricted as those found in other predominately Muslim countries. Nevertheless, one should respect the Muslim traditions inside mosques, including the removal of shoes. In addition, women are expected to cover their hair, shoulders and legs before entering a mosque.
• Normally, one should be prepared to remove one's shoes before entering a building or a Muslim home. Be sure not to walk on prayer mats, which will likely be present in Muslim households.
• One should use the right hand in preference to the left as the left hand is considered unclean among Muslims. Never take or give anything with the left hand. In particular, one should never eat with the left hand. This is a particularly important rule when people are eating from a common bowl or when eating with one's hands. In such cases, especially among Muslims, be sure to use the right hand, in keeping with Islamic protocol. Likewise, one should avoid gesturing with the left hand while making sure that gifts are received with the right hand. Of course, it is acceptable to use both hands when one is insufficient. One should also avoid pointing at another person, and one should never use the North American "thumbs up" gesture as is considered to be vulgar throughout the Muslim world.
• There are also a number of prohibitions and customs involving food that one should adhere to when dealing with Muslims. For example, one should note that the consumption of pork is not allowed. Any gifts made using these substances are inappropriate.
• Generally, visitors are urged to acquaint themselves with the calendar and traditions of Islam, such as the fasting, daily prayer and practices. Praying five times daily, for example, is customary and affects the schedule of all events and practices in Muslim countries. During the period of Ramadan, for instance, fasting and prayer is mandatory for Muslims during this holy time.
• In the realm of protocol, one should not enter a room or home without knocking or coughing to announce one's presence. One should also not shout, laugh too loudly or sing during meal times. Note that it is appropriate to cover the mouth when laughing.
• In conversation, good topic choices include history, current or modern achievements, sports and culture. Generally, any controversial discussions about politics or religion should be avoided. Before embarking upon any kind of business discussion, one should ask after one's counterpart's health and life.
• If one is invited into a Kyrgyz home, it is customary to take a gift to the host or hostess. Baked goods, chocolates, or a bag of sweets, are good choices. More elaborate offerings, such as a beautiful ornament, possibly from one's own country, would constitute an acceptable gift between business associates.
• In Kyrgyzstan, one should be prepared to see or hear about one of the world's most fascinating wedding customs: the kidnapping of the bride. According to tradition, a man may kidnap a woman he loves, and is usually aided and abetted by his friends and relatives in his efforts. Typically, the kidnapping is planned in advance, with relatives gathering at the man's home, busy with the preparation of a festive meal. Meanwhile, the man captures the woman and brings her back to the home with her head covered with a kerchief, as a sign of her virginity. She is then placed behind a curtain in a corner of the home (called a koshego). Following the marriage rites, the bride is initiated into the family hearth via a custom called the "otko kirgizish" where relatives invite the new couple to join them at the hearth. The wife becomes an equal member of the household when she puts grease in a pot (presumably for cooking of some sort).
• Other fascinating customs include the birth rite, which is referred to as "djengek toi" and centers around the festival celebrating the birth of a new baby. The associated custom, called "tyshoo kesuu" involves cutting the strings of a baby that has recently learned how to walk. In this custom, the baby's feet are tied with a black and white string and other children participate in a kind of race or competition. The child who wins the race is given the right to cut baby's strings. Legend suggests that after being released from the strings, the baby will live healthily and confidently.
• The spring holiday, called Nooruz, is also widely celebrated. It involves symbolic purification around a large fire and is believed to be connected with the Muslim New Year. It is followed customarily with a festive meal boasting a varied and delicious collection of dishes intended to symbolize the fertility and prosperity of the upcoming year.
• Visitors to Kyrgyzstan should expect to see roadside bushes and trees, most often located close to natural springs and ponds, covered with sections of multicolored fabrics. These trees are "prayer trees." According to Shamanistic beliefs, one should cover or adorn the trees in this way, while praying to the "powers of life" for protectection against disease and for the healing of those who are sick.
• In rural areas, one's self-presentation should be restrained. Likewise, in Muslim circles, clothing should be appropriately discreet. In urban centers, business wear is typically more conventional; suits are the norm for both men and women, although some industries may allow more casual attire to be worn. Western women should try to be dignified in regard to makeup and jewelry. Tight, revealing clothing is not acceptable, while shorts, bikinis and short hems are objectionable. The rules for men's attire are not as strict, but men must keep their chest covered in public and should never wear shorts in public. Both men and women should dress modestly. There are, however, exceptions among the youthful, non-Muslim populations.
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